Building a writing habit

What does it take to be a writer?

I've always thought of it as a protected title. An honorific with which only a chosen few can style themselves. It's not a thought I ever fully explored, because I don't have any clear ideas of what one would have to do to earn the title.

But playing with the image in my mind, it certainly requires a calling. And dedicating yourself completely to answering the call, perhaps by spending most of your days in solitude in a dusty cabin in the woods.

And using a typewriter, of course.

So little did it matter that I liked to write, because as far as callings go, I never had one. Nor did I have any intentions of secluding myself in the woods. And I always preferred a laptop over a typewriter.

Consciously, I know that being a writer doesn't require any of these things. It is not a protected title. Do you write? Great, you're a writer.

But, in the back of my mind, I believe this stereotypical idea of what it takes to be a true writer prevented me from pursuing writing to any degree. Because I would never live up to that stereotype. No matter what I did, I would never become the tortured genius who churned out the next great American novel. Knowing that, what's the point?

It was running that transformed my mindset. All my life I had been thinking that if you couldn't become great at something, you shouldn't waste time doing it.

And then I was given the gift of running.

When I started running, the fact that I would never become a professional runner didn't matter. The opposite, in fact, because it meant that there was no external pressure. All that mattered was that I liked doing it. So I do it.

Which, eventually, got me thinking, what else do I like to do? Well, there's this writing thing.

And here we are.

Actions are products of habits

Being honest, this is not the first time I have tried to establish a writing habit. I even documented my attempt to do so a couple of years ago in a note. Here's how that went:

I wonder what it was that convinced me to stop jotting down red X-es on the days I didn't write, and simply concede defeat? I can't for the life of me recall. That is, perhaps, symbolic. One day I sort of just "forgot" about the entire thing. Either way, I didn't achieve the desired results.

What went wrong?

Something else running taught me, not just in theory, but in practice, is that actions are the outcome of habits. Running consistently was hard in the beginning. Even though I mostly enjoyed doing it and I always enjoyed having done it. 

Eventually, though, it became easier. And later still, I had to do it or else I felt like I'd wasted a day. That's the power of habits.

In his book Clear Thinking Shane Parrish refers to this as the power of inertia. As human beings, we are hard wired to preserve the status quo. It is a result of a combination of powerful psychological phenomenons like loss aversion and our neurochemistry. Once we reach adulthood it becomes that much harder to change our established patterns of behaviour.

But, as the gift of running taught me: Inertia can be extremely powerful if we make sure it works for us. Through making running such a big part of my life, I realised that I truly have the power to do whatever I want.

Whatever I want!

What an amazing discovery to make. It might seem obvious, but for someone who's spent his life thinking that actions and, by extension, the life you lead, are at the whims of flimsy concepts such as motivation and desire, it was a revelation.

Understanding the concept and the power of inertia completely shifted my mindset. Instead of thinking "I wonder if I could ever do this?" I started thinking about the world of opportunities in front of me.

But understanding the power of habits alone is not enough to form them. That failed attempt at regular writing was well after running had taught me the value of habits. Yet I still failed miserably. What gives? I completely underestimated the effort required to establish a new default. I got cocky. Thinking that I've got this running thing down pat, how hard can it be to sit in front of a keyboard to focus a little every day, I thought it would be a breeze.

I was very wrong.

Reshaping the way you act is always a monumental undertaking. If you want to overcome your biologically programmed inertia, you have to bring your A game. I didn't, so I failed.

Failure can be a blessing. When one season of my life ended, I was armed with the learnings from this particular face plant to help me shape the next season to my liking. As I wrote in Day one:

With my current daily structure, the only obvious time of day with space to write is in the evening. After putting the kids to bed. Depending on what the rest of the day has looked like, I might need to get in my daily workout first as well.

And that's exactly what I defaulted to in my previous attempt. But, as I explained in that post, writing in the evenings simply doesn't work for me. For whatever reason, I do not have the required mental energy to consistently string together words at this time of day. I wrote:

So here we are. Day one.

I set the alarm for 5AM. Got up at 4:30 because I was excited to get started.

What you’re reading is the unedited result of my first day of another attempt — this time with a different approach — of establishing a daily writing habit.

Will it stick? I don’t know. But I have a good feeling about this one.

Without my previous failed attempt at establishing a writing habit, I wouldn't have made this connection. But, I can hear you asking, how did it go? The proof is in the pudding. Well, at the time of writing, I am 23 days into my trying to build a new habit. Here's the scorecard:

I had some early troubles when my youngest kid came down with a bad cold. That weekend I gave it all to squeeze in 15 minutes one evening, before a rough night followed and laid waste to any idea of settling into a new rhythm.

And that's the thing. Unexpected circumstances will always throw a spanner in your plans. When inertia is working to your advantage, it's no big deal. You'll easily pick yourself up again and get back to what you know. But when you're just starting out? These unforeseen circumstances can easily end your plans.

But I got back on the horse. And with a 20 day streak going, I'm feeling good about my chances. If I can keep it up a few more weeks, inertia will slowly begin to turn in my favour. And after a year or two, who knows what can happen?

Tips

If you're thinking about starting a writing habit — or any habit, for that matter — here are some tips based on my previous failures and current experiment.

Know why

When you undertake a great change, your reason for doing it must be crystal clear. Write it on notes and spread them everywhere if that's what it takes to keep your "why" front and centre. It is paramount in the beginning and in hard times.

Hard times

Unforeseen events will wreak havoc on your plans. When that happens, be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you falter. Instead, start working that boulder from the bottom the next day. Because what happens to Sisyphus when he gets the boulder all the way to the top? The process is everything.

Discard motivation

Habit forming is freeing ourselves from needing motivation to act. In the beginning, before inertia works in your favour, it will be extremely hard on the days when motivation is low. You may find yourself thinking "well this is so hard that even if I do it today, there's no way I can keep doing it, so I might as well skip today". But here's the thing, for every day you get it done the next one gets easier. So today is quite possibly the hardest day you'll ever face in building your new habit. Today is, in that regard, the hardest and most important day of all the days to come. So don't skip it.

Block time

If you don't know when you're going to do it, you set yourself up for constant self-debates about whether you should do it now or some other time. All this considering is exhausting. So just set aside the time, and do it then. It's much easier when you don't have to think about when. Because "when" is inconsequentially different from "if".

Do less

When we estimate what we're capable of doing, we do so wearing rose tinted glasses. We are envisioning the best of circumstances. That's not reality. Instead, reality is messy and full of complications, og and also, we're humans. And setting the bar too high is just setting yourself up for failure. So make a realistic estimation of what you think you can do consistently. Then slash that in half and make it your daily or weekly goal for the first period. You can always redjust when you're doing well.

Minimise distractions

No matter the avenue of your pursuit, a key point will be minimising distractions. Most of us understand and practise this intuitively in some regards, like when going for a run or a bike ride. The notion of stopping to just check your email or tik tok is ridiculous. It reduces the quality of the exercise. The same is true for endeavours that rely on intent focus, like for instance writing. Taking a break is fine. It can help. But do something that relaxes your focus and helps you get ready for another repetition, like intentional breathing or watching the horizon.

Publish!

My last suggestion is for those of you who, like me, want to pursue writing. In this regard, my most important tip is to publish often. Don't get too hung up on whether or not something is good, whether it's optimised with the right keywords or if the structure of the piece is perfect. When you're starting out it is all about repetitions. Putting in the practice time is what will make you better. So instead focus on writing, get it published, and move on to the next piece. Merely archiving a piece in a folder that lets you stop thinking about it and move on to the next one can serve a similar function, but I believe there are tremendous added benefits to publishing online.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.